Retelling a cringe-worthy tale to make your friends laugh is one thing, but dealing with the uncomfortable emotions it evokes is quite another. Both approaches to processing trauma are viable, but only the latter is essential for genuine mental, physical, & emotional well-being. Not all embarrassing experiences will stick with us forever, but some do. These are the times you must know How to Let Go of Resentment.
Unfair treatment is a terrible aspect of life. Most of the time, we have little control over how people treat us, & occasionally, they don’t know any better. As a result, it’s only normal for us to occasionally feel resentful.
Letting Resentment Go is Not Difficult
1. Accept It Happened
Trying to control something you can’t, such as the weather or other people, is one of the quickest ways to lose your temper. After realizing that you have no control over them, you have two options: move on or acknowledge that you have some power over some things.
Yes, you have no control over the weather, but at least you can get an umbrella if it starts to rain. Or, even though you do not influence the actions of others, you may be honest about your expectations. Therefore, whenever it rains, or someone treats you unfairly, try to accept that it happened.
2. Define It
Without knowing what is damaged, you cannot heal. Finding the root of your resentment is the vital answer to How to Let Go of Resentment.
Speaking it out has the greatest impact when doing this. It might feel wonderfully liberating to express your feelings to a friend, therapist, or member of your family. Write a letter that you never send if this isn’t doable.
Without self-censoring, you could write to the cause of your rage, a loved one who is supportive of you, or you could record it in a journal for yourself.
The key is to identify the root cause. It asks you to revisit pain & triggers unpleasant feelings, which makes it extremely challenging. You could cry. Your body releases tension by shedding tears.
3. Practice Forgiveness
While certain things are unforgivable, being resentful is frequently what makes us feel victimized. It’s natural to desire to exact retribution when someone wrongs us, but choosing your battles in life is key.
Long-term resentment puts you under constant stress, increasing susceptibility to subsequent blows life may deal you. You might then feel even more victimized as a result of this. The most effective strategy for moving on & regaining control of your life may be forgiveness.
4. Try Meditation Apps
Second-hand emotions, resentment, rage, & anxiety all originate from core emotions like shame, vulnerability, and pain. Giving those initial emotions room to exist is crucial when learning to let go.
The Unwinding Anxiety app was created by anxiety expert Dr. Jud Brewer to support patients in drastically reducing negative secondary emotions through mindfulness.
Other apps, like Calm & Headspace, direct users through meditations that are expressly designed to harness the energy of unpleasant emotions and redirect it towards something constructive. This can be one of the most effective Ways to Let Go of Resentment so you can deal with the hurt & move on.
5. Don’t Be A People-Pleaser
Being kind is nice. Your social score can increase as a result of actions that present you as dependable & helpful, such as watching a friend’s dog or covering someone else’s shift at work. However, striving to be of assistance to others can sometimes lead to disappointment.
What if you just assisted someone only to discover that they ditch you whenever you need a helping hand? You should be aware that you are not always required to be kind if you feel that this describes you.
6. Change Your Perspective
The impact of self-distancing on unpleasant feelings was investigated by two psychologists, Zlem Ayduk from the University of California-Berkeley & Ethan Kross from the University of Michigan. Self-distancing is mentally reliving an event as if observing it from a distance.
Review the incident that makes you angry without speculating what the other party was thinking or feeling. What steps did the individual take? What was said, & in what words?
Think of this process as pruning your emotionally charged views in favor of a clearer understanding of the facts. Participants in that study could approach their healing process from a self-reflective & problem-solving place, as opposed to an emotionally reactive space, by practicing self-distancing.
7. Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness & meditation are often equated, and tranquility meditation is equated and one of the answers to How to Let Go of Resentment. Mindfulness isn’t just about meditation, of course; it can be useful in achieving inner tranquility.
Being mindful is staying in the moment & controlling your thoughts. By letting go of hate, negativity, & rage, practicing mindfulness will assist you in dealing with feelings of resentment in a healthy manner. It enables you to concentrate on what matters, on the now.
8. Accept The Grudge
This practice may initially appeal as Ways to Let Go of Resentment to those who keep grudges out of a desire for vengeance, but it goes further than merely allowing them to persist.
In her book How to Hold a Grudge, Sophie Hannah unusually approaches healing. The main point is that you must draw lessons from your anger.
It cannot continue to occupy space & do nothing. Hannah demands that you experience every emotion connected to the grudge & document its whole history, emphasizing what you think was right at the time and what you think would be right now.
Then, consider what you discovered as a result of the event. Although you aren’t specifically asked to forgive in this exercise, you are asked to express gratitude to the person who caused your resentment for teaching you a valuable lesson.
Causes of Resentment
Others inevitably let us down from time to time because we have no control over everything that occurs around us. Anytime this occurs, we can be tempted to hold grudges.
This is very normal & occurs to everyone. As unhealthy as it is, it is best to seek the answer of How to Let Go of Resentment. There are many factors that might lead to resentful feelings:
- When a promotion goes to a colleague instead of you.
- Having a partner that cheats on you.
- When a friend ignores you without obvious cause.
- When someone makes fun of you in front of other people.
- Leaving your buddies out of a group chat.
In other words, we experience resentment anytime someone wrongs us (unfairly). But it’s crucial to let go of grudges because doing so will significantly affect your future feelings.
FAQs
Q: That resentment is gnawing inside me, but I can’t talk to anyone. What to do?
A: Prolonged feelings of resentment can hamper your overall well-being. Consider talking to a therapist.
Q: Does resentment happen in personal or professional life?
A: It can happen in any aspect of your life.
Q: I can’t behave normally with people who wronged me. Is it resentment?
A: No one can behave casually to people who wronged them. That is a normal reaction.
