You were probably oversharing if you’ve ever found yourself talking incessantly to a new coworker about family turmoil or sharing intimate aspects of your life with strangers. It’s quite simple to do. There is hope if you find yourself oversharing regularly and want to modify your behavior. Before we get to the ways to stop oversharing, let’s establish what oversharing is.
Saying more than is suitable in a particular setting or to a particular person is known as oversharing. In-person, via email, social media, or text messaging, you may overshare. When you don’t feel close enough to someone, you often overshare what you say. Alternatively, you’re opening up in a risky or unpleasant situation. Accordingly, excessive sharing usually relates more to who you say it to, when you say it, and why.
Tips For Stopping Oversharing
1. Understand Your Boundaries
Recognizing what’s personal is one of the ways to stop oversharing. Start by identifying what topics are off-limits for you. Personal boundaries are essential for maintaining emotional safety. Think about:
- Family matters: Personal issues with family members may not be appropriate for public discussion.
- Financial details: Sharing income, debt, or spending habits can lead to judgment or unsolicited advice.
- Romantic relationships: Details about love lives, especially those involving conflict, can create discomfort.
Once you identify your boundaries, communicate them to those close to you. This helps establish expectations for conversations and encourages others to respect your privacy.
2. Practice Mindfulness
Be present in conversations. Mindfulness involves being fully present and engaged in your current conversation. This helps you:
- Gauge reactions: Pay attention to the listener’s body language and facial expressions. If they seem uncomfortable, it’s a signal to shift the topic.
- Pause Before Speaking: Take a moment to consider whether what you’re about to share is appropriate or relevant.
Regularly reflect on your conversations. Ask yourself if you’ve shared too much and why. This self-awareness can help you avoid oversharing in the future.
3. Choose Your Audience Wisely
Know who you’re talking to. which is an answer to how to stop oversharing. Not everyone is equipped to handle sensitive information. When sharing personal details, consider the following:
- Close friends vs. acquaintances: Share intimate details only with those you trust deeply.
- Professional settings: In work environments, keep discussions professional and avoid sharing personal dilemmas that could affect your reputation.
Adjust your sharing based on the context. What may be appropriate in a casual setting might not be suitable in a formal meeting or networking event.
4. Limit Social Media Sharing
Think before you post. Social media is a common platform for oversharing. Before hitting “post,” ask yourself:
- Who will see this? Consider the potential audience and how they might interpret your post.
- Is it necessary? Ask yourself if the information adds value to your followers or if it’s simply a momentary impulse.
Regularly check your social media privacy settings. Ensure that only trusted friends can see personal information, and limit who can comment on or share your posts.
5. Develop a Filter
Ask Yourself Key Questions. Before sharing information, run it through a mental filter, which is one of the best ways to stop oversharing. Consider these questions:
- Is it relevant to the conversation? If it’s not, it might be better to keep it to yourself.
- Will it benefit others? If sharing the information doesn’t serve a purpose, hold back.
Implement a brief pause before sharing anything personal. If you find yourself hesitating, it’s a sign that you might want to rethink your disclosure.
6. Rehearse Conversations
Prepare for Common Topics If certain situations frequently lead to oversharing, prepare responses in advance. This is especially useful for:
- Networking events: Have a few neutral topics ready to discuss.
- Family gatherings: Plan how to respond to questions about personal matters without divulging too much.
Practice conversations with a trusted friend. Role-playing can help you feel more confident and equipped to steer conversations away from personal topics.
7. Create a “Shareable” List
Identifying safe topics is an answer to how to stop oversharing. Make a list of topics you feel comfortable discussing openly. This can include:
- Hobbies: Discuss your interests and activities that don’t involve personal details.
- Current events: Engaging in conversations about news or culture can shift focus away from personal narratives.
During conversations, consciously steer discussions toward these safe topics. This approach can help minimize the urge to overshare personal information.
8. Reflect on Past Oversharing
Learn from experience. Take time to think about moments when you overshared in the past. Reflect on how it made you feel and the reactions from others. Consider:
- What were the consequences? Did it affect your relationships or reputation?
- What could you have done differently? Use these insights to inform future interactions.
Talk to trusted friends or family members about your sharing habits. They can provide valuable perspectives and help you recognize patterns you may not be aware of.
Why People Overshare?
There are many causes for people’s oversharing. They could not realize they were oversharing, or they might want to establish a connection immediately and avoid quiet. People tend to overshare for a variety of reasons, but there are many ways to stop oversharing! Let’s examine a few of the more significant ones.
Seeking to advance the partnership quickly: The desire to develop depth and emotional connection before the relationship is ready is a typical cause of oversharing. Stress or the worry of not being loved by someone may often be linked to this.
Having a false sensation of intimacy: What is the connection between Uber drivers, hair stylists, and nail artists? Regardless of how familiar you are with someone, they are someone you share a private place with. This could provide the impression of unreal closeness.
Preventing uncomfortable silence: Some individuals will stop at nothing, including oversharing, to escape uncomfortable silence. That makes sense because, as Ty Tashiro argues in The Science of Why We’re Socially Uncomfortable and Why That’s Awesome, uncomfortable silence sets off our fight-or-flight response in our brains. But it’s far from perfect. To help you get over uncomfortable silence oversharing, think about making a vow of silence—more on that in a bit!
Being unable to interpret social signals: Those who fail to interpret social signals may not realize that the person they’re conversing with simply began glancing around more, chuckling uncomfortably, or crossing their arms—all subtle indicators that they may feel uncomfortable.
Being anxious around people: People who experience social anxiety are usually more likely to overshare. One can easily become rambling when they experience anxiety around other people. Low self-esteem or the desire to win over people may also lead to oversharing.
Growing up with oversharers: If your childhood home was one where oversharing was commonplace, you may not even be aware that you’re doing it. Answering a coworker’s question about their weekend with a 20-minute synopsis of everything you did may seem like the most common and natural thing to do.
FAQ
Q: What a Habit of Oversharing Looks Like?
A: Oversharing may take many different forms, but fundamentally it involves sharing too much personal information, often to the wrong person at the wrong moment, or both. It can be motivated by attention-seeking, validation-seeking, or just plain habits.
Q: How can one request an individual to cease oversharing?
A: Establish Explicit Boundaries: Politely delineating boundaries is an essential initial measure in addressing an oversharing colleague. This can be achieved by tactfully steering the dialogue towards professional subjects or conveying discomfort with discussing personal issues in the workplace.
Q: Where does excessive sharing originate?
A: Oversharing may occur due to a variety of reasons, including mental health concerns, a lack of boundaries, the need for emotional control, societal norms that promote sharing, and the need for attention or affirmation.
