Being human means that we quest for how to stop suffering. However, we may save some unnecessary misery by practicing acceptance. We are all in anguish. It might be brought on by losing a loved one, losing one’s work, breaking up with someone, getting into an accident, or experiencing trauma of any type.
The instantaneous visceral anguish in each of those situations was intense, piercing my heart like a hot knife. Then there was mourning, which was a normal emotional reaction to loss. Physical pain and emotional anguish, however, are followed shortly by something else that, although seeming quite real, may be imagined—that another item is “suffering.”
Practical Tips to Stop Suffering and Find Peace
1. Avoid “Spinning” Your Tale
Media masterminds known as “spin doctors” use events to further their political agendas. When it comes to our emotional lives, we often behave in a similar way without realizing that it isn’t beneficial. The agonizing event itself serves as the foundation. However, depending on our worries for the future or our experiences from the past, we then create a variety of tales about what it may entail.
We are adding layers of meaning to the initial emotion when we convince ourselves that ending a relationship would wreck the rest of our life, that no one else could ever comprehend what we are going through, or that there is no way out of our pain. None of these things can be known with any degree of confidence by us. But this pattern will certainly not help us stop suffering.
Our mind’s innate propensity to fabricate stories may be effectively addressed by mindfulness meditation. We may start to free ourselves from this inclination by practicing seeing our thoughts and emotions as they are and gently stopping ourselves when we find ourselves making up a tale about them.
2. Practice Acceptance
The next step to learning how to move through suffering is to accept it. The path of life is a path of learning how to manage our pain more effectively. The first step in conquering it is hence total acceptance. The first crucial step is to resolve to no longer condemn ourselves for being completely flawed, even if we acknowledge that we are codependent, attract narcissists, and medicate with food, drugs, relationships, and other things.
Stop saying things like ‘I should exercise more’ or ‘I should stop eating too much.’ What if, for the time being, you just let go of the guilt and pressure and accept that this is who you are? However, the reality is that you are doing your best right now. You would accomplish more if you were competent. Recognize that you are functioning in a state of perfect imperfection right now.
You may not be entirely comfortable yet, but you might not be ready to change course—and that’s okay. Until it begins to change and move more in the other direction, learn to be content with where you are in your path.
3. Don’t Avoid
The next stage is to deliberately acknowledge that we may all be quite content living in a manner that is inconsistent with our morals and beliefs for a while. Our actions, when they violate our moral principles and make us feel less loving—such as binge eating, addiction, or unhealthy relationships—serve as ways to escape the truth.
We engage in these behaviors because we fear that seeking change may cause even greater misery than the destructive behavior we are employing to mask our sorrow. The greatest insight we can gain is that suffering often arises not from pain itself, but from our resistance and avoidance of it. This relates to stages of grieving, which include shock and denial, bargaining, and rage.
Many individuals will go through these phases for the whole of their lives. To avoid the next phases—acceptance and depression—many people will dwell on the initial stages.
4. Welcome Changes
Sometimes, when faced with challenging circumstances, we have said the grim words, “My life will never be the same again.” Then we saw how absurd that assertion is, or at the very least, how misleading it is to conceive of change only in a negative way.
It is true to say that our lives will never be the same again. Indeed, that is true at all times! There is always change. Sometimes the transition is unpleasant, and other times it’s for the “good.” However, we can never predict how a change will turn out in the end.
In the long term, something that seems awful now could be exactly what we need to go on to the next phase of our lives. We will discover the potential in a situation if we can learn to embrace change instead of fighting it.
5. Even If You Don’t Feel It On The Inside, Smile
Sometimes your smile can lead to joy, and at other times, joy naturally brings a smile. Both can shift how we experience suffering. This is a great reminder that we are more capable than we think of altering our emotions.
Accessing that deep reservoir of pleasure may be as easy as discovering the grin that resides within us, even in the face of life’s hardships. Practice smiling and see how it affects your mood, even if it may seem forced at first. And see how smiling at others causes them to respond differently. Instead of being ingrained in our own misery, these positive feedback loops may significantly help us overcome it.
6. Take A Break From Your Daily Routine
Sometimes we grind ourselves into a rut, which leads to anguish. We cannot seem to think of anything else since we are so consumed by our loss. At times like these, it helps to give our mentality and spirit a kickstart by doing something we would not typically do.
Perhaps it’s time to travel somewhere new or pursue a long-delayed passion. Perhaps it’s time to offer a kind remark to a stranger you see on the street.
Read More: 9 Benefits of Connecting With Your Higher Self
7. Help Someone Who Is Suffering
It’s simple to isolate ourselves and think that no one else has it worse than us while we’re in misery. Even if your pain feels unique, one way to lessen suffering is to remember that others experience it too. Keep in mind that everyone has the potential to experience both pleasure and suffering. Our personal pain may be greatly alleviated by reaching out to someone who is also struggling and showing them basic compassion.
Visit an older aunt at a nursing facility with flowers and spend some time hearing her tales. Look into the eyes of a homeless guy as you stroll down the street and offer him a friendly remark. Play checkers with the youngsters while volunteering on the children’s ward of your neighborhood hospital.
You may not be prepared to accomplish this at this time. Try to push yourself a little bit beyond your comfort zone to spend time with someone else who is going through a difficult time after you’ve survived the acute phase of a traumatic event. Show the individual a little compassion, and see what transpires inside you.
8. Remind Yourself Of Your Fundamental Kindness
The Shambhala Buddhist tradition is the source of the lovely idea of “basic goodness.” It serves as a reminder that despite the chaos and negativity of our lives, we can always rely on the fundamental kindness found in both the cosmos and ourselves.
There is something essentially good about being human, despite all of our issues, perplexity, and emotional and psychological ups and downs, if we are prepared to look at things objectively. Allow yourself to reconnect with this reality, or at least the potential of it, while you are experiencing intense agony.
There are extremely easy methods to do this. Enjoy the warmth of the sun on your face while taking a stroll outdoors. Take a drink of fresh, cold water. You may be reminded that the universe is on your side in many ways by doing any of these things. This fundamental reality is very comforting and soothing.
Lastly, it’s important to keep in mind that, in addition to self-generated pleasure, there is self-generated sorrow. May you experience a measure of that peace today.
Face the Suffering
Directly address the source of the suffering as an answer to how to stop suffering. When we confront the pain, we often find that it is not as excruciating as we had anticipated. After we’ve overcome the suffering, there is a great deal more delight in it than we could ever have had from avoidance. Our biggest fear, which often lies behind our avoidance, is the dread of loving ourselves.
Being insufficient is not what we are most afraid of. Our greatest fear is that we possess unfathomable power. What scares us the most is not our darkness but our brightness. Who am I to be bright, attractive, talented, and amazing? We question ourselves. Who are you not to be all of those things? Your small-mindedness isn’t helping the world.
Shrinking to make other people feel less uncertain around you is not illuminating. Our purpose in life is to bring forth the greatness that is inside each of us. It is present in all of us, not just a select few. By allowing our own light to shine, we intentionally allow others to do the same. Others are instantly freed by our presence as we are freed from our own fear.
That is terrifying! We must acknowledge our greatness in order to put a stop to suffering. Making the grandeur that is inside each of us a reality is the adventure of life. It may seem like a lot of responsibility to recognize and accept that we are strong humans with the potential to alter both our own and other people’s lives, but if we can come to terms with this, we will be able to put an end to the suffering.
FAQ
Q: Why does suffering matter in our lives?
A: Suffering has a purpose and benefits society as a whole. Our evolutionary history is the foundation of suffering. Pain encourages us to turn away from potentially harmful things, while joy and contentment encourage us to turn toward things that are beneficial to us.
Q: Suffering causes what?
A: Numerous internal and external variables may cause suffering. Common reasons include physical discomfort, psychological misery, and the results of our own deeds. Suffering is also influenced by outside variables, such as accidents and natural catastrophes. Buddhist teachings hold that ignorance, attachment, and aversion are the main causes of suffering.
Q: Is suffering something you can live without?
A: We cannot just change our surroundings to alleviate this deep suffering. It is ingrained in our very being and is a part of human experience. We are always trying to get closer to our ideal selves; thus, trying to avoid existential suffering is pointless. We are set up for development and self-control.
