As we get older, it gets harder to find new friends, as we are no longer in school or college and exposed to new people every day. Just because you are unhappy with your usual weekend plans doesn’t mean you are trapped.
There are several habits that will improve your social skills. It is never too late to start meeting new people and doing things that interest you, and you will likely see positive changes in your life.
Habits That Will Improve Your Social Skills
1. Don’t Hide Behind Mobile Phone
Smartphone use can reduce face-to-face interaction and make initiating conversations harder, because it’s become socially acceptable to look at your phone in public. Before smartphones became common, you often had no choice but to talk to the people around you.
You could hide behind a book or newspaper, but neither offered the instant, variable distractions of a smartphone. Today, most adults own smartphones, and because of that, many people sometimes ‘phub’ (phone-snub) others—a behavior linked to weaker conversational quality and relationship strain.
If you want to connect with people, try putting your phone away. It may feel awkward or uncomfortable at first, but if you want a conversation, you must first show that you are open to talking.
2. Do More Things in Person
Nowadays, various apps deliver everything from groceries to medicines to burgers. Combine this with abundant streaming services, and it’s easy to spend most of your time on the couch.
While these online services can help us save money and time, they also isolate us from the real world and the people who live in it. Without regular human contact, many people notice their social skills can become rusty. For this reason, it is advisable to do more things in person. Here are a few things you can try:
- Shop for groceries in a market instead of online
- Go out to eat instead of ordering food delivery; it will be great if you invite a friend or family member
- Watch a movie at the theater instead of streaming it
- Buy books at a nearby bookstore instead of on Amazon
These are just a few ideas—you can find plenty more that match your hobbies and routine.
3. Ask Open-Ended Questions in a Conversation
Providing others with the opportunity to engage, gaining a better understanding of their thoughts and emotions, and making them feel heard are all benefits of asking open-ended questions.
This has the potential to have a positive effect on the relationships you have. Questions with open-ended responses demonstrate interest and encourage people to share their consideration.
4. Find Structured Social Activities
If you are an introvert, you can find it hard to initiate conversations with random people in a coffee shop, a bar, or in line at the grocery store. These situations are often unstructured and place the burden on small talk, which can feel awkward and draining for many introverts.
To ease these pressures, try to find some social activities with structure. This way, you can have something to do when unsure what to say. You may try these:
- Board game nights (many local bars, coffee shops, and community centers host these)
- Sports leagues
- Community band or orchestra
- Join Meetup groups
- In-person classes (cooking, photography, painting, anything of your interest)
The goal is to pick activities that let you talk while also giving you something else to focus on when the conversation hits an awkward silence.
5. Use Positive Body Language
Body language conveys information beyond words and influences how approachable you appear. How a person is standing or sitting can tell a lot about their feelings. Understanding how to interpret these cues and how to use them is one of the vital habits that will improve your social skills.
Use open body language when you want to seem approachable. Open body language signals that you’re approachable and interested in communication. Here are some essential things you can try:
- Avoid crossing your arms
- Stand or sit straight
- Turn toward people
- Relax your shoulders (many people naturally tighten them)
- Smile
If you do the above, you’ll come across as friendlier and more approachable. You can also use the same principles to see if it is apt to join a conversation. If people are standing/sitting with their bodies open (turned outward), that indicates they are willing to have someone join the conversation.
6. Be a Good Listener
Open-ended questions keep conversations flowing—but balance them with active listening and reflective comments so you don’t sound like you’re interrogating someone. Effective listening is about more than just passively receiving information.
Instead, you must show the other person that you are listening with attention. This comes from positive statements, body language, and a healthy amount of silence.
Read More: 9 Traits of High Performers
7. Maintain Eye Contact
Try to maintain natural eye contact during conversations—about 3–5 seconds at a time and roughly half the conversation—to signal engagement without staring. You can practice with a close friend or family member.
Let them know you are trying to develop your ability to maintain eye contact. Try to hold eye contact during the beginning of the conversation, when listening to your friend speaking, and while thanking them and ending the conversation.
8. Don’t Force Humor
Being funny is an excellent way to make friends. But not everyone is naturally humorous. Not everyone is funny all the time, either. Not everyone possesses that personality, and that is all right. You don’t need to be a comedian to build relationships—authenticity and warmth matter more than forced jokes.
Don’t force humor—it’s usually obvious and can feel off-putting. Humor is best when it’s natural to your style. Just be yourself. You’ll often get laughs simply by speaking naturally.
Conclusion
The more successful social communications you have, the more confident you will become. As your confidence grows, socializing with others will become easier and even fun. But you cannot construct your confidence if you are not getting out and trying.
Regardless of intelligence or competence, weak social skills can make it harder to be included or to build workplace relationships. You may notice colleagues with different interpersonal skills advancing; strong social skills often influence workplace opportunities in addition to technical ability.
You might notice others invited to sit at the ‘in’ table during company dinners while you remain seated farther away. Even if you’re introverted or feel less socially confident than others, you can develop these skills over time. You don’t have to settle for average in your personal or professional life. Try these habits and practice them consistently to improve your social skills.
