8 Ways To Overcome Shyness – Future Grow Academy

Dr. Ankit Sharma, PhD

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Ways to Overcome Shyness

Imagine this: Everyone in the room, except for you, appears to be mingling & having a fantastic time. You’re by yourself & off to the side. There are plenty of possibilities during this social gathering to chat with folks & introduce yourself, but you can’t bring yourself to do so. If this sounds familiar, you must follow these Ways to Overcome Shyness.

It might be unpleasant when people advise you on how to avoid being shy. They believe you need to put yourself out there to overcome Shyness. Yet how? Everyone finds it difficult to discuss with someone they don’t know. Social abilities don’t come readily to everyone, & that’s okay.

Overcoming Shyness is Not That Difficult as it Might Seem

Ways to Overcome Shyness

1. Take Baby Steps

Stay away from public speaking because doing so can be stressful if you step too far outside of your comfort zone.

Instead, make modest goals to help you overcome your shyness. Begin by striking up a conversation with a relative or a work colleague. These things can boost your self-assurance & reduce anxiety.

2. Find Out Possible Reasons

According to the majority of experts, Shyness arises from a number of variables, including genetics and environment in childhood experiences. For instance, parenting strategies may promote Shyness. It can arise if your parents have done things like:

  • Exaggerated the potential danger.
  • Set strict rules for you.
  • It didn’t let you take risks.
  • They were shy themselves.

Any of these elements may affect how you approach social situations. Adulthood & youth are both times when Shyness can develop.

You could start to worry about the possibility of having more embarrassing events in the future if you experienced rejection from your classmates or were singled out for criticism by professors & superiors. Finding the source is one of the Ways to Overcome Shyness.

3. Think About Things You Are Good At

Think about shyness in terms of evolution for a second. If you were extroverted, you might have gone on adventures to discover new places, gather supplies, & engage with other communities.

To protect yourself from potential hazards, you might have kept close to home if you were shy. Both functions are essential.

However, while exploration may lead to fresh discoveries, it also places you at risk for peril. Being stationary keeps you protected. Nevertheless, it may be advantageous to play up your advantages rather than viewing shyness as a weakness.

Knowing the areas in which your abilities really shine can increase your self-confidence, which may help reduce feelings of insecurity & self-doubt.

You might be a gifted artist, an excellent person to work with animals, or a determined researcher. You may be a good listener, and people always come to you for advice.

What better approach to balance the world’s needs than with many personality types? Yes, it may take you longer to open up. But when you do, you have a lot of valuable qualities to share, like empathy, sensitivity, & caution. Knowing your abilities is an answer to How to Stop Being Shy.

4. Know Your Goals

You may be envious of their extroverted attitude & wish you could move through social situations with the same ease if you know someone who always seems to make new friends. Although it’s not impossible, starting small is usually preferable.

Investigate how shyness affects your life, to begin with:

  • “I want to be in a relationship, but I’m too shy to meet people in person.”
  • “Five percent of my mark is based on my involvement in class. But because I don’t know anyone, I’m afraid to share.”
  • “I have lots of ideas for this new project at work, but what if no one likes them?”

Create straightforward objectives from that list, such as conversing with colleagues or using a dating app to find potential mates.

5. Don’t Avoid Social Situations

Sometimes we are our own worst enemies. Be aware of your self-talk when attempting to become less shy in social circumstances. You should develop your confidence & get over your timidity. It’s crucial to ignore your inner critic’s advice to use it as one of the Ways to Overcome Shyness.

It’s tempting to steer clear of scary circumstances when you’re timid. However, avoiding social interaction puts us at risk of social isolation & sadness. Try to make eye contact with others & interact more.

6. Find Your Area of Interest

We often overcome our shyness when talking about something we are genuinely interested in. Find your interests on which you can strike up a conversation, even with a stranger. It can be anything like movies, music, books, politics, socio-environmental issues, in short, anything.

You will find geeks & nerds to be quite shy. If you try talking with them about DC/Marvel, games, or technology, you won’t hear the last of it. Because those are their home grounds & they are ace players on that. A similar thing can happen to you. You need to identify your interests.

7. Mindfully Participate in Conversation

Casual talks can make you uncomfortable if you’re shy. Even when you have much to say about a certain subject, concerns about how other participants perceive you may prevent you from making insightful or funny comments.

You may find yourself nodding frequently or posing inquiries, so you are not required to provide any information. While asking questions helps keep a discussion going, it doesn’t allow others to learn more about you. You aren’t connecting, in other words.

Use active listening techniques to concentrate on the direction of the discussion rather than thinking about what they think of you or attempting to come up with something to say.

You can stop repeatedly running from your anxieties of looking awkward or saying anything humiliating by paying attention to what they’re saying.

You won’t be as surprised when they ask you a question because you’ll be able to recognize when to speak more naturally. Active participation in a conversation is a solution to How to Stop Being Shy.

8. Accept Yourself

Whatever caused your shyness is ultimately just a characteristic of your personality. Although you can try to overcome your shyness, you don’t need to if it doesn’t bother you.

For instance, you might not be inclined to make new friends, but you have no issue extending a greeting to someone you have just met.

You may get anxious before speaking with your boss, but you talk well when necessary, even if your heart beats faster. So, you don’t like socializing. Some people don’t.

Since it gives you plenty of time to refuel & relax alone, if you’re shy and introverted, you might be completely content with the social interaction you’re now experiencing.

Some Common Causes of Shyness

There can be some reasons behind your shyness. The good news is there are Ways to Overcome Shyness. Here are some reasons behind shyness:

Genetics: If your parents are shy, chances are, you might be shy as well.

Environmental Effects: Environments in which we grow up shape our personality traits. If you have grown up in a strict rules environment by strict parents or were raised in a dangerous atmosphere, you could be reluctant to approach strangers in social situations.

Past Traumas: Childhood traumatizing events might follow you into adulthood. For instance, growing up in a bullying environment may contribute to shyness. You can also be reluctant to talk about your interests or passions if you were taunted & mocked for them when you were younger.


Q: Is being shy & introverted are same?

A: Introversion & shyness go hand in hand. Almost all shy people are introverted & vice versa.

Q: Are there any books that can help me overcome shyness?

A: Many books can help you to overcome shyness. Some of them are:

  • Rewire Your Brain Using Neuroscience to Overcome Anxiety, Panic Attacks, Fear, Worry, and Shyness by Marcus Theron.
  • How to Improve Your Social Skills by Chris Neff, Robert Johnson, Kristin Code.
  • Shook One: Anxiety Playing Tricks on Me by Charlamagne Tha God.
  • Social Anxiety by Paul H. Ciccarelli.
  • THE F-VIRUS by Charles Sam.
  • Shy Child by Judy Patterson.
  • Get Rid of Shyness And Social Anxiety by Londa Curran.

Q: I want to talk to a therapist but am shy to visit. What to do?

A: Gather your courage & leap. A therapist can help you in a professional & non-judgmental way.

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