How To Stop Being Codependent

Dr. Ankit Sharma, PhD

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How To Stop Being Codependent

One term used to describe codependency is “relationship addiction.” It’s an emotional and behavioural disorder that makes it difficult for a person to have a happy, healthy connection with another person. You can learn How to Stop Being Codependent, even if it might be damaging and unpleasant.

When someone with an addiction’s spouse makes bad decisions that support or feed the addiction, the term codependency was originally used to characterize such a relationship. However, throughout time, the term has come to include those who are in violent, emotionally draining, or one-sided relationships—which don’t always have to be carnal.

Tips To Overcome Codependency

How To Stop Being Codependent

1. Determine Which Aspects of Your Relationship Are Codependent

Recognizing the signs of codependency is an answer to How to Stop Being Codependent. Not every codependency symptom may be present in you. You likely follow a pattern. Thus, you may handle everything yourself and think no one is watching. You may put everyone else before yourself.

Figure out what you’re doing, whatever it is. Seek out the codependent behaviour patterns in your relationship. Make a list and monitor the tasks you are doing. This will assist you in recognizing when to quit doing something. If you don’t recognize your codependency, you won’t be able to stop it. For every one of us, this is the first step. Accept your dependence on others. Don’t be afraid to do it.

2. Improve Your Self Esteem

Studies indicate a connection between codependency and poor self-esteem. Setting healthy boundaries and standing up for your own needs might be challenging when you don’t think well of yourself. You may become more self-reliant and confident by learning to appreciate yourself, which will prevent you from needing to rely on other people to give you the power that lies inside you.

It goes without saying that you don’t always need to be strong; in fact, there are times in life when we do need to rely on other reliable people. However, codependency and the need to rely on others may be detrimental and even debilitating when they occur in a friendship or partnership.

3. Establish And Uphold Boundaries

Setting boundaries allows you to communicate how you wish to be handled and to figure out How to Overcome Codependency. Setting limits may help you live a less stressed and anxious life, and it’s a crucial component of learning how to stop being codependent.

Consider carefully what you need to have a happy and healthy life. Do you need some alone time every day? Accept it! Do you prefer that relatives give you a call or send you a text before they visit? The request of them! In which relationships do you feel undervalued or disrespected? Tell them that, please!

Establish and convey limits with firmness and respect after you’ve decided what boundaries you want to create. Setting boundaries entails the following:

  • Consider the circumstances and connections that bring you unease or sadness.
  • Determine where the boundary is being crossed.
  • Find a way to feel better.
  • Share your needs with those who are stepping beyond bounds.
  • Set clear expectations and repercussions for anybody who crosses them.
  • Have faith in your choice and see the consequences.

4. Think About Your Needs

After giving it some thought, decide what you want to accomplish and act on it. Having different interests and pastimes may make each partner feel more autonomous, which will eventually result in relationships that are better overall.

Spending time apart is not a sign of a failing relationship—when done right, it can actually strengthen the bond and create a more meaningful connection. This will help you grow in confidence and self-esteem.” Additionally, consider doing activities with family or friends.

5. Discover Your Attachment Style

What leads to codependency? Although attachment patterns are formed in infancy, they may have a significant effect on how we connect to people as adults.

Insecure attachment patterns are common among codependents, which might make them cling or make them fearful of being abandoned. Knowing your attachment type will help you become more conscious of your behaviour in relationships, which will enable you to deal with problematic codependent behavioural patterns.

Being aware of these tendencies in your life is one step towards learning how to break free from codependency. It will be simpler for you to make changes if you are more aware of your behaviour. Determining your attachment type might assist you in recognizing the situations that lead to codependent behaviour and figuring out How to Stop Being Codependent.

Four categories of attachment styles have been studied:

  • Secure (healthy).
  • Anxious-insecure (unhealthy).
  • Avoidant-insecure (unhealthy).
  • Disorganized-insecure (unhealthy).

Codependency has often been associated with anxious attachment patterns, which are prevalent in those who grew up in households with drug misuse and conflict.

6. Make Peace with Your Past

You’ll need to deal with it since a lot of codependency stems from your history. The majority of individuals don’t want to do this. That feeling of denial is frequently a part of being codependent.

We believe that if we ignore it, it will go away since we don’t want to be codependent. That is untrue, however. You must sort through everything in your life. And sometimes, there are things that you can’t even recall. A codependent person’s history is full of unsolved problems involving love and emotional needs, with family concerns accounting for the majority of these conflicts.

Examine your history and make an effort to recall any hazy memories that your subconscious may have suppressed. Even though this inquiry might be emotionally taxing and demanding, it’s a necessary first step before you can make any real progress.

Talking with a therapist provides a secure space for you to speak about your history. It’s not necessary to sugarcoat the situation or make it seem better than it is. You could also discover stuff throughout that procedure that you weren’t even aware of.

Seeing a therapist is a highly cathartic experience, and even though codependents may not believe they need it, they should do so. It’s crucial and the only way to break free from codependency and live a healthier life.

7. Learn To Say No

Learning to say no can be a solution to How to Overcome Codependency. The incapacity to put one’s own needs and desires ahead of those of others is a key problem for codependent people.

Codependent people are hesitant to create any limits while interacting with others because they don’t want to hurt anybody or jeopardize their connection, in contrast to emotionally healthy people who have clear boundaries.

Recognize your value as a person. Establish and maintain your limits, and while interacting with others, keep them safe. Your limits are an extension of who you are, and you may indirectly influence people’s perceptions of you by modelling respect and acknowledgement of your boundaries.

8. Prioritize Yourself

You’ve become so used to looking after other people that you’ve lost sight of yourself. You must prioritize your needs. Nothing is more beneficial than practicing self-love and self-care, particularly if you’ve been believing for years that you don’t deserve it.

Taking care of yourself is one of the finest strategies to quit being codependent right now. Go out and engage in your passion. Take a break from cleaning and enjoy a television program. Have a rest. Have some dessert. Take action.

While putting other people’s needs ahead of your own is not always a negative thing, codependency may make it draining. Remind yourself that you matter. You deserve it. And you also need to come first. It is the best tip for How To Stop Being Codependent.

Is Codependency Bad?

Codependency manifests itself in many ways, but is it that bad? Is it wrong to desire to serve others or to be a people-pleaser? If you take these things one at a time, some of them aren’t that horrible. Perhaps all you are is a people-pleaser. Perhaps you are only a career. However, being codependent makes you more than simply anything. Relationships suffer when you try to be everything at once.

Codependent people are unable to build relationships that benefit both parties. The relationships may be emotionally abusive, one-sided, painful, and perplexing. Regardless of your justifications, codependency is never a healthy thing and may be detrimental. It is vital to know How to Stop Being Codependent.

Codependents are more susceptible to mental health conditions including anxiety and sadness. Additionally, they put themselves at risk for emotionally abusive actions. Your relationship doesn’t need to dissolve if you and your partner are codependent right now. It simply indicates that to cease being codependent, you need to resolve the issues you are now facing.


Q: What are the signs of codependency?

A: Having trouble deciding. difficulty expressing or recognizing needs, emotions, or ideas. Prolonged rage or intense emotional responses. an intense need for acceptance or acknowledgement.

Q: What worries codependents?

A: This is when poor self-esteem, the codependent core problem, enters the picture. Codependents dread rejection and abandonment because they have a fragile sense of self, but they also fear losing themselves in a relationship.

Q: Is being codependent harmful?

A: In partnerships, codependency may be quite harmful, particularly for the one who is dealing with the codependent difficulties. A codependent person prioritizes their relationship above other priorities, such as their own health.

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