How To Stop Being Clingy in a Relationship

Dr. Ankit Sharma, PhD

Updated on:

How to Stop Being Clingy

It may be extremely easy to get into a pattern where you continually demand your partner’s attention while you’re in love, particularly in the early phases when every phone, text, or in-person encounter leaves you humming. If these sound like you, you must find some answers to How to Stop Being Clingy. Even with the greatest of intentions, being too attached to your partner cannot always be a desirable quality.

It could sometimes be more detrimental to your relationship than beneficial. Clinging to someone or something is the propensity to remain very near to someone for a variety of reasons, including emotional support, safety, and more (e.g., a parent or lover). We’ll examine what constitutes clinginess, the causes of it, and—above all—manage it so you may have a happy and healthy relationship with your spouse.

How To Stop Clinginess

How to Stop Being Clingy

1. Recognize That There Could Be A Problem

Recognizing that there may be a problem is one of the answers to How to Stop Being Clingy. Making a personal inventory of your behaviors is a crucial step in any transformation process. You may see whether you are clingy or not by doing this.

There’s a good possibility you are clingy if you find yourself chasing after your spouse on social media or attempting to meet up or connect with them regularly. Recognizing this reality gives you the freedom to make the required changes to your behavior pattern. This activity is particularly crucial since the term “clingy” has strong offensive connotations.

To find out whether you match the description or if someone is unjustly characterizing you in a certain manner, look inside. After giving your behavior some serious thought, if it doesn’t meet the criteria for being clingy, just concentrate on developing a positive rapport with your spouse.

2. Address Any Trust Concerns You May Have

Trusting your spouse is crucial, even if it may seem obvious. It will be hard to give your spouse the freedom to be who they are if you don’t trust them. Your significant other may feel less confident in the connection and even resentful if you don’t trust them.

A healthy, long-term relationship that brings you both happiness depends on trust. Believing in your spouse may take many forms, such as allowing them to spend a day with their friends or not questioning them about where they are all the time. Even if it doesn’t feel like it, remind yourself that becoming upset with this new step is beneficial for your relationship.

3. Talk To Your Partner

Having an honest discussion with your partner is an answer to How to Stop Being Needy. Speaking with your spouse about how your behaviors make them feel might help put things in perspective after you’ve accepted that you could come out as needy. It may provide light on the adjustments needed to preserve harmonious relationships.

It might be enlightening to talk about the things you do that irritate them the most. You may talk about your mutual understanding of what constitutes healthy, less controlling communication in your partnership.

Hearing that your attempts to feel closer to your spouse are, in reality, counterproductive to the relationship may hurt. But just remember that your relationship is still intact and may be saved with the correct adjustments.

4. Allow People Their Space

It’s not necessary to be hip to your lover to be in love. Too much intimacy may disrupt a relationship for many couples. In every relationship, it’s beneficial to share ideas, emotions, and space, but sharing too much might make your partner feel confined. Nobody wants to feel trapped in a relationship.

It’s advisable to offer your significant other the space they need. In this manner, your spouse is less likely to connect your connection to bad emotions, which strengthens it over time.

If you fight opposition, it also helps to not press the issue. You need to keep a careful eye on how many comments you get. One of the most crucial things to consider in this situation is public affection, even if not everyone finds it appealing. It is one of the vital methods for How to Stop Being Clingy.

5. Spend Time with Your Friends

Spending time with your friends is a solution to How to Stop Being Clingy. It’s simple to let your emotions control you when you’re in love and to devote all of your attention to your significant other. This may damage the bond you already had with friends, established long before your relationship began, and be detrimental to other relationships.

This is the ideal moment to lean on your friends and family as you are learning to be less needy. Arrange get-togethers, meals, and exciting weekend plans to revitalize your relationships with them. In addition to strengthening your friendship with your pals, this might be a refreshing change from having continual touch with your spouse.

6. Manage Your Anxiety

It might be simple to turn to your spouse to relieve tension or nervousness if you’re prone to such feelings. But this might be an inconsistent approach to control your moods and make your spouse feel like they have too much control over your happiness.

If you’re a needy girlfriend, consider channeling your nervousness into a regular and uplifting activity or routine. Even routine actions may help reduce anxiety and give you more positive energy to invest in the relationship. Consult a physician or other qualified someone if you have ongoing anxiety or other difficult-to-manage emotions.

Avoid overthinking as much as possible, or at least make an effort not to. You get even more perplexed when you second-guess whether or not to act or speak. This is the point at which you start acting in ways that you wouldn’t typically do, and your confidence starts to decline dramatically.

To put things in perspective, you seem very needy and unattractive when you have seven missed calls and five text messages. Calm down, wait for the call to come back, and stop running through improbable situations in your head. It is the best way for How to Stop Being Clingy.

7. Focus on Yourself

Focusing on yourself is an answer to How to Stop Being Needy. Devote some time to reflecting deeply on yourself as a means of overcoming clinginess. If we simply take the time to reflect on things by ourselves, we’re surprised at how much we may discover about our emotions and ourselves. Spend some time turning your mind inside.

Spending time by yourself may not only help you feel refreshed and in control, but it can also demonstrate to your partner that you are not reliant on them for happiness. Dependency may cause one partner to feel more accountable than the other in the relationship, which might eventually cause serious issues.

8. Check Your Body Language

When we are among someone we care about, we often use body language to express our devotion, such as holding hands or assuming an open stance. But body language might also be a red flag.

Physical clinginess is just as possible as emotional and psychological clinginess. It might be troublesome if you are a clingy person and find yourself reaching out to touch your spouse all the time, even just to let them know you’re still there.

Make sure you’re respecting your partner’s limits by not touching them excessively since this might make some individuals feel physically restrained or reserved.

Causes of Clinginess

There can be several causes behind clinginess in a relationship. The most important thing is knowing How to Stop Being Clingy. Let’s have a look at those reasons:

Young age: Teenagers and those in their early 20s are probably prone to intense emotions that have sharp ups and downs. It’s typical at this age to sometimes feel needy, particularly when you’re figuring out who you are, your sexuality, and living alone for the first time.

However, if you are beyond adolescence and are still experiencing relationship instability, along with difficulty in coming to terms with ending a relationship, this might indicate a more serious issue. 

Your family is dysfunctional: Being raised by parents or older family members who exhibited this behavior might lead to clinginess and codependency. You can have a distorted perception of what constitutes a healthy relationship if, for instance, your parents expressed envy when you spent time with a friend or if you received criticism for not “proving” your devotion to a family member.

Traumas of Past Relationships: If a loved one abandoned you without warning, died unexpectedly, or mistreated you emotionally or physically, you can be too attached to new people and apprehensive about them. Thankfully, prior relationship pain may eventually be healed.

Unhealthy attachment style: Being too attached to others might be an automatic response in relationships if you have an anxious attachment style, which most likely evolved from your connection with one or both of your parents.


Q: How can you tell if someone is becoming too attached?

A: Informing someone that they’re too attached might be a delicate discussion. It’s critical to handle the circumstances with love and understanding. You may begin by thanking them for their time and attention while subtly letting them know that you need some privacy and independence.

Q: What is clingy behavior?

A: Clinginess is the act of gripping onto something tightly or refusing to let go in order to avoid separation. The phrase is often used in romantic relationships to describe someone who demands excessive, frantic, or even obsessive levels of reassurance from their partners.

Q: What is extreme clinginess?

A: Although clinginess may take many forms, some examples include the desire to be in continuous touch with you, to continually seek reassurance, or to significantly rely on you for emotional support. It may sometimes literally mean clinging to someone, needing love and physical contact all the time.

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