9 Ways To Break A Trauma Bond

Dr. Ankit Sharma, PhD

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Ways to Break a Trauma Bond

You’re likely dealing with a condition called trauma bonding if you’re stuck in an unsatisfactory relationship. Trauma bonds are psychological reactions that arise when a victim of abuse forms an unhealthy link with their abuser. Trauma ties are not only seen in romantic relationships; they may arise in any circumstance when one person is taking advantage of another. There are some Ways to Break a Trauma Bond.

Trauma bonds are ingrained in our fundamental need for attachment and stability, making them more than just difficult relationships. The abuser has extreme control and influence over their victim, which they combine with guilt and humiliation to prevent their victim from leaving.

Tips For Breaking A Trauma Bond

Ways to Break a Trauma Bond

1. Focus on The Current Moment

Living and focusing on the present is one of the Ways to Break a Trauma Bond. Keep your attention in the here and now and pay attention to what is going on. Take note of how your lover is treating you right now and how they are making you feel.

This is crucial because it will enable you to concentrate on the individual and your bond with them. Do you feel unloved by him or her? Captured? Do you both have the same objectives? To break a trauma link, it is essential to concentrate on the present moment since it lets you see the other person for who they are and helps you avoid distracting ideas like “what if” queries and “could be” situations.

One of the challenges you may encounter in this process is your mind working against you, leading you to believe that the positive memories you have of them may resurface shortly or that there is still hope for them to turn around.

But one of the greatest ways to break the trauma link is to live in the present since this allows you to be aware of what is happening around you and see your abuser’s poisonous actions for what they are: an effort to dominate you and your reality. It is one of the most vital Ways To Break A Trauma Bond.

2. Discover And Learn For Yourself

Discover for yourself what a trauma bond is, and get access to resources that may help you learn more about it. For people who are being abused, there are a lot of services accessible online. You may also try going to the violence shelters and organizations in your area, which provide victims with support, guidance, crisis counselling, and help with safety planning.

This first step is crucial in helping you recognize the predicament you find yourself in and how you may be able to escape it by asking for assistance from others. You become self-aware and recognize that there is a problem in your relationship when you study for yourself.

Gaining knowledge about your circumstances might also help you to acknowledge that there is something wrong with the way things are going. But one challenge you can face when you discover this for yourself is that the person who is fascinated with you might monitor your online activity or even look for you when you attempt to leave home.

Despite these challenges, knowing your position better is still one of the greatest methods to break free from a trauma bond since it is the first step towards doing so.

Learning on your own could seem challenging at first when compared to other strategies for severing a trauma attachment. Since the first step usually represents change, which may be unsettling, it is typically the toughest. But as you advance, the procedure will also get simpler and the way more obvious.

3. Step Back from The Abusive Person To Distance Yourself From Them

Distancing yourself from abusive people is an answer to How to Get Over a Trauma Bond. Step aside from the abusive person and consider how it can help you distance yourself from them. Take some time away and prioritize your needs to establish some distance between you and the abusive individual.

Taking a step back allows you to see your connection from a clearer or more comprehensive viewpoint. It is also advantageous since it makes things easier for you to think about and helps you make well-informed judgments about what to do next.

But distance-building is not always simple. One specific challenge you could face is being too deeply enmeshed in the abusive cycle you’ve been in for a long time to take the time or space to consider taking a step back. You find it challenging to recognize all of the opportunities and possibilities outside of the relationship as a result.

In comparison to other strategies for severing a trauma attachment, learning to separate yourself may be easier if you have some self-awareness about your circumstances and how they demand you to consider the features of your relationship.

4. Find A Support Group

Go to a support group meeting to have the chance to interact with individuals who probably go through similar struggles and experiences as you. Support groups for victims of abuse, their families, and even acquaintances are provided by several organizations and local groups.

To provide and receive comfort, support, and encouragement from those who may offer companionship, it is essential to get together and converse with other members of the support group. Joining a support group also enables you to see that you are not alone in your troubles and that others are cognizant of your situation.

Anyone in an abusive relationship may easily feel confined and alone in the world. Transportation, a hectic schedule for in-person support groups, technological issues, and a lack of in-person interaction are some of the challenges you could run across while attending support group sessions.

Attending a support group meeting is one of the best methods to end a trauma bond relationship because it gives you the social support you need to go ahead and helps you see that there is a world outside of your relationship.

5. Practice Self-Care

Practicing self-care is one of the Ways to Break a Trauma Bond. Take care of yourself by doing things that are beneficial to your physical and mental well-being. These practices for your physical and mental well-being might include eating a balanced diet, getting enough sleep, drinking plenty of water, exercising, and engaging in enjoyable hobbies.

Self-care enables you to be the greatest version of yourself in many spheres of life, which is why this step is crucial in releasing yourself from trauma connections. In addition to improving your physical and emotional well-being, self-care also strengthens your immune system, gives you more energy, eases stress, and reduces your chance of becoming sick.

However, since they often prioritize the needs and emotions of their abuser above their own, abusive partners may find it difficult to take care of themselves. Initially, initiating a self-care regimen may pose challenges for a person ensnared in an abusive cycle, as it might elicit emotions of shame and low self-esteem, or even lead them to believe that self-care is unworthy.

6. Face Your Feelings

It might become commonplace to push your unpleasant emotions aside in dependent or trauma-bonded relationships to settle disputes and please your spouse.

Instead of trying to hide or run from your emotions, try to recognize them when they arise and take quick action to deal with them. You may demonstrate that you understand and care about how the dynamics in your trauma bond affect your emotions and mood by expressing your experiences.

You may start working toward bettering yourself after you recognize and acknowledge your emotions. Although it may be difficult to let go of a trauma link immediately away, doing so will help you see the relationship’s effects more clearly and could even inspire you to prioritize your needs.

7. Express Your Needs Clearly and Firmly

In order to express your requirements in relationships with clarity and assertiveness, it’s critical to understand how to create solid boundaries in all of your interactions. Keep in mind that limits exist to support you in maintaining positive relationships with others.

As everyone’s definition of boundaries is distinct and may relate to almost anything, the other person can push back and challenge these boundaries, particularly in situations where there has been trauma. But if someone crosses a line you’ve set for self-defense, becomes enraged and assaults, or makes threats to leave, it can be a sign of something more serious.

Sometimes, if your spouse tends to become violent, what begins as a discussion in which you express your demands might become hazardous. If this is the case, you should develop a safety plan so that you can go to safety in the worst-case situation. It is one of the best tips for Ways to Break a Trauma Bond.

8. Journal

Having a journal can be an answer to How to Get Over a Trauma Bond. You may recognize, communicate, and process your feelings about the pressures in your life without passing judgment when you keep a journal.

You may release your fear, worry, or despair from your heart and thoughts by pouring your feelings onto a blank sheet. Maintaining a mental health journal enables you to document your responses and recovery journey, consider the phases of trauma bonding, and identify prospects for personal development over time.

9. Talk to a Professional

Counselling is a useful tool for managing relationship-related stress and promoting recovery. It may be very empowering to have a secure environment in which to examine relationship problems and determine their underlying causes. Finding the underlying source of a problem or emotion is the first step in healing and letting go of a trauma link.

An easy method to locate a therapist with expertise in trauma-bond relationships is to go through an internet directory of therapists. You may determine if a clinician’s expertise is appropriate for your circumstance by reading reviews and looking at their profiles to learn about their scope of practice.

Referrals are another source of information about therapists; they usually come from a doctor or a reliable family member. Seeing your doctor or specialist is the greatest method to keep them informed about any therapy choices or trauma suffered in the relationship since they frequently have access to a network of other professionals.

What’s The Difference Between Trauma Bonding And Codependency?

Codependency and trauma bonding are comparable, but their behavioural foci are different. Both, nevertheless, are possible in a single relationship.

The urge for the connection to endure is the foundation of trauma bonding. It is similar to an addiction to an abusive relationship in several aspects. This obsession might become so strong that, despite the abuse or betrayal, you fail to see that the relationship is toxic.

The addiction to taking care of other people and putting their needs ahead of your own is the main emphasis of codependency. A person in a codependent relationship cannot be content until they put their partner’s safety and well-being above their own.

When one spouse acts in this way toward the codependent, it often gives the other partner permission to carry on abusive or harmful actions. If you notice trauma bonding in your relationship, know there are Ways to Break a Trauma Bond.


Q: What is the duration of trauma bonds?

A: When two individuals have gone through a trying time together and learned to rely on one another for emotional support, a trauma connection is often created. Depending on the degree of emotional connection between the parties and the severity of the trauma endured, this kind of link may last for months or even years.

Q: What makes a trauma bond stronger?

A: Because those involved have gone through such intense and emotional experiences together, trauma bonds are very deep and difficult to break. In a trauma-bonded relationship, the victim is tricked into seeing these strong emotions as love, which helps them ignore the abusive actions.

Q: Can you change a trauma bond?

A: Even though it may be more easily stated than done, it is still totally doable. Put simply, we cannot sacrifice truth for promise if we are to escape trauma ties. We also need to take proactive care of ourselves and continue to be conscious of where we are.

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