We all wish to avoid wasting our limited time arguing with our loved ones since life is too short. However, it is common for us to have disagreements with the people we care about the most. We avoid getting into fights when out on the street with random people. Do we? There are many Ways to Resolve Conflicts.
Conflicts arise when one person’s ideas diverge from those of others or when they have opposing views on a particular issue. Conflicts don’t necessarily arise in meaningful conversations; they mostly arise in informal and trivial ones.
How To Resolve Conflict
1. Try To Avoid It
One of the Ways to Resolve Conflicts is to avoid it altogether. This approach consists of just disregarding the possibility of a disagreement. When faced with confrontation, people usually want to avoid it. By avoiding it, they can deny the existence of an issue.
In some circumstances, when there is no obvious answer or a frustrated party needs time to cool down before confronting them, avoiding conflict may be the right course of action.
Avoidance, however, may need more work than just confronting the issue and may exacerbate tensions among the people involved. Nothing is resolved when conflict is avoided.
2. Communicate Your Emotions And Opinions Clearly
You can keep your complaints about your family/friends and address them later. However, those unvoiced complaints may build up and intensify emotionally like a whirlwind before you realize it. You and your family/friends must discuss your concerns openly and in a strong, sincere, and compassionate way.
To accomplish this, remark, “I care about our relationship,” to start the conversation while demonstrating regard for your loved one’s sentiments. or “I understand you’re not trying to offend me.” Next, clearly state the behavior you want your people to modify and state your emotions, including anger, pain, irritation, frustration, or confusion.
Next, make a precise request: “I’d prefer you talk to me in a quiet tone.” Alternatively, “I’d like you to wait until I’ve finished speaking before you speak.” After the request, ask whether the other person is willing to agree to it.
3. Have A Healthy Conversation
A hearty and open conversation is one of the Tips for Managing Conflict. You must communicate openly and freely with the other party and encourage the other to do the same.
The reasons for the conflict and solutions come out only through a healthy conversation. You must realize your relationship is much more important than the petty differences.
You must remember how Dr. Strange and Wanda locked horns in ‘Dr. Strange: Multiverse of Madness’. Instead of fighting each other, if they sit calmly with America Chavez, a much more satisfactory resolution could come out and save many lives.
In case of any conflict, we need to remember the Wild West doesn’t exist where we can challenge someone to a duel. An open and honest conversation can resolve any conflict.
4. Don’t Start Blame Game
You might hold your family/friend responsible for issues for many reasons, including things they said, did, or failed to do. However, it won’t help since the one assuming the responsibility will feel attacked, making them react to the blame rather than the actual issue.
Imagine if your lover tells you, “You’re crazy for thinking that!” The fault is quickly moved to something else, like a fear of adultery. The other partner will instantly get defensive, asking whether I’m insane. It’s you who is insane.
So, the following advice will help you deal with disagreement in a relationship: Steer clear of assigning blame. Replying with “I feel” declarations that focus on the current problem is preferable. “I feel angry when I’m alone, and you’re out with your friends,” as an example.
Alternatively, “I’m annoyed that the trash hasn’t been removed yet.” This method honors your partner’s sentiments without diminishing them, improving communication, and yielding better outcomes.
5. One Argument At A Time
A debate that begins on one subject may not always continue. A heated dispute may quickly spiral out of control like a vehicle hitting a piece of black ice on a wintry day.
Keep your arguments to one at a time and watch out for relationship “slippery road” situations. If you stray from that one straightforward notion, the argument will become buried in a maze of unrelated but unneeded problems.
A debate will end in a stalemate if you attempt to tackle too many issues simultaneously and lose track of the one you can solve. Couples who discuss one issue together are much more likely to come up with a single solution.
Each partner gets time to work through their emotions and come to a resolution when there is a patient and understanding attitude before the topic is changed.
6. Stay Open-Minded
Being open-minded is one of the vital Ways to Resolve Conflicts. It will improve the chances of a peaceful conclusion.
Getting engrossed in an argument and losing sight of your partner’s worries is simple, but doing so limits your flexibility. Couples should instead put aside their egos and maintain objectivity, considering all sides of the issue without prejudice or self-interest.
This allows for a rational conversation and the chance to comprehend and respect your partner’s point of view. Couples who can maintain objectivity and an open mind are more equipped to deal with life’s difficulties.
7. Try To Find The Root Of The Conflict
There are situations when unmet needs lead to arguments with your spouse. Consider if there may be a bigger problem if it seems your spouse is worrying about little matters.
For example, your spouse may want you to spend more time in your relationship or worry that you won’t be able to maintain your good grades if they are dissatisfied that you are going out to parties throughout the workweek.
Think about things from your partner’s perspective and imagine yourself in their position. How would you feel if you were in their shoes? Instead of just making your case, strive to understand your partner.
8. Find Some Middle-Ground
Finding a middle ground is one of the Tips for Managing Conflict. It’s critical to strike a balance between what each partner desires and finds comfortable. If you want to see the other person succeed in your partnership, you will agree on things without feeling like you are giving up a lot for your relationship.
Conflict resolution requires compromise, and reaching a middle ground may not be as hard as you believe. If you and your spouse are arguing over who gets to spend more time with their friends, switch up the days you spend with each group of friends or spend the evenings alone.
Ask them to help out the next time you go grocery shopping if you feel like your spouse is constantly consuming your food.
Some Famous Conflict Resolutions in History
In the history of mankind, we have witnessed thousands of conflicts. Some became ugly wars, and some were resolved in a civilized manner as both parties were keen to follow Ways to Resolve Conflicts to bury the hatchet. Some examples of such conflicts are:
The Peace of Westphalia (1648): This agreement, seen as a turning point in contemporary international relations, ended the Thirty Years’ War in Europe. It contributed to establishing a more peaceful Europe by establishing the concept of non-interference in other countries’ domestic affairs and recognizing individual states’ sovereignty.
The Camp David Accords (1978): With the help of this deal, mediated by US President Jimmy Carter, Israel and Egypt were reunited. Essential topics covered in the agreement were Israel’s departure from the Sinai Peninsula and the restoration of normalized ties between the two nations.
The Good Friday Agreement (1998): The decades-long struggle between the Protestant and Catholic populations in Northern Ireland ended with this peace deal. Along with addressing concerns like disarmament and prisoner release, the accord constituted a government with shared powers.
The Oslo Accords (1993): The basis for Middle East peace talks was formed by this agreement, which Israeli and Palestinian leaders negotiated. Important topics, including Israel’s disengagement from the West Bank and Gaza Strip and the creation of the Palestinian Authority, were covered in the agreement.
The Truth and Reconciliation Commission in South Africa (1996): This commission was set up to remedy human rights violations and promote national reconciliation in South Africa after the end of apartheid. The commission fostered a climate of forgiveness and reconciliation by offering a platform for victims and offenders to tell their tales.
Q: I want to resolve a conflict, but the other party is not cooperating. What should I do?
A: Make them understand why you should resolve the conflict and your good intentions behind it.
Q: Can I overpower the other party to resolve the conflict?
A: Trying to overpower someone is an act of war, not conflict resolution.
Q: Are there any books about conflict resolution?
A: Many books have described Ways to Resolve Conflicts. Some of them are:
- Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships by Dr. Marshall B. Rosenberg.
- The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict by The Arbinger Institute.
- Negotiate Without Fear: Strategies and Tools to Maximize Your Outcomes by Victoria Medvec.
- Negotiating the Impossible: How To Break Deadlocks and Resolve Ugly Conflicts (Without Money or Muscle) by Deepak Malhotra.
- High Conflict: Why We Trapped and How To Get Out by Amanda Ripley.
- The Conflict Paradox by Bernie Mayer.
- Crucial Conversations: Tools For Talking When Stakes Are High by Joseph Grenny, Kerry Patterson, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler, and Emily Gregory.
- Getting to Zero: How To Work Through Conflict In Your High-Stakes Relationship by Jayson Gaddis.
- Dangerous Love: Transforming Fear and Conflict at Home, at Work, and in the World by Chad Ford.
- The War For Kindness by Jamil Zaki.